Post by xpressfighting on Oct 6, 2018 10:10:34 GMT -5
***THE FOLLOWING IS AN XPRESS FIGHTING SYSTEMS PROMOTIONAL VIDEO***
“Here we are again!”
The excitable and angry man holds up the papers and shakes them violently, the sound of ruffling filling the room
“LAST time I brought you a report, it was to EXPOSE the BIAS and CHEATING of the so-called ‘judges’ in the Pyramid League! LAST time I brought you a report, it was to SHOW how there was an undercurrent of SEEDY GAMBLING and DRUNKEN INFIDELITY which saw the ACE to NOT be awarded the trophy he so rightly EARNED!”
The ruffling becomes more violent with every word.
“NOW! We EXPOSE the FALSE so-called ‘champion’ that is ZENKI of the Demon Brigade! ZENKI, a MAN-CHILD who sits on the shoulders of the ONLY respectable member of the Demon Brigade, Tokyo Zombie. A BOY who has spent ALL SUMMER either on his skinny ass or on his BACK, staring up at the LIGHTS!”
He slaps the papers on Shinjiro’s broad shoulder.
“While The Mountain has fought for Max Pro, Japan, and ALL of puroresu throughout the summer, wrestling in MORE MATCHES than ANYONE ELSE on the roster! The TRUE winner of the League-”
SLAP!
“-the man who could ONLY be beaten by the WINNER of the J1 Summit-”
SLAP!
“-and the HERO and ACE of the war with Lion’s Road! But you, Zenki?”
He flips a few sheets of the report, stopping on page 5.
“After you sat on your scrawny butt during the Pyramid League, you had a GREAT showing at the J1...but you LOST your block to the MADMAN known as Hammerstein! You didn’t even have the HONOR of losing to the WINNER like the Mountain! And like I said all throughout the Attack of the Castle! Tour, all you have done is stare at the lights! Loss after loss AFTER LOSS! And ONLY when you stand on the OUTSIDE while Tokay Zombie does ALL the work against Lion’s Road rejects who had been DEMORALIZED by the MONSTROUS presence and DOMINATION of the Mountain throughout the tour. So in a way, YOU should be THANKING the Xpress Fighting Systems ACE for providing you your LONE tour win! Will expect Tokyo Zombie to hold you to the level of HIS honor and publish that thanks IMMEDIATELY! In fact, I-”
The giant maw of Shinjiro on his shoulder cuts off Cunningham.
“Tell ‘im, big man!”
Shinjiro slowly points down to his knee.
“This broke Pulver.”
He points to his face.
“This broke Irvine.”
He crosses his arms in front of his chest again.
“Now...I suplex...YOU.”
Cunningham cackles as he slaps the report on Shinjiro’s shoulder again.
“That’s right! And after he suplex you, ZENKI, the entire sport of puroresu will have a champion they can be proud of! Because right now, every fan of Max Pro is weeping, sobbing, WAILING, at the fact that they have to have YOU as their champion. In fact-”
He flips further into the report.
“-according to THIS 100% ACCURATE report from those PARAGONS of journalistic integrity over at CoolRankings, the heavy floods from over the summer were NOT the cause of storms, but because of all the crying the children are doing when they see your scrawny behind as ‘heavyweight’ champion. According to page 27, all of the children went to the streets of Hyogo and, upon seeing a promotional poster of you with the Heavyweight Championship Title, burst into to tears so plentiful that it created a RIVER OF TEARS so massive that, not only would James Edwards be proud of it, but it cut through the island and ruined the streets! BUT!”
Cunningham tosses the report to the ground.
“All of that changes on October 14th in Fukuoka. The Mountain will kick, knee, punch, headbutt, and suplex your scrawny butt back into obscurity and give ALL of puroresu a champion they can BE PROUD OF!”
We cut as Cunningham cackles loudly while Shinjiro stands stoically.