Post by xpressfighting on Oct 22, 2018 19:26:44 GMT -5
***THE FOLLOWING IS AN XPRESS FIGHTING SYSTEMS PROMOTIONAL VIDEO***
“Look at it! Look at it all!”
The MaxJ camera does indeed take in it all and sees an intense training retinue taking place below them. Young men run drills in formation, dropping erasers and leaping into action again. Others work heavy bags, launching kicks and punches into them. Others are in the middle of a wrestling ring, taking back bumps under the eyes of wizened veterans, learning how to fall and take as little damage as possible.
“Soak up Xpress Fighting Systems, boys!”
The camera does, indeed, soak it up.
“What you see before you is the FUTURE of professional wrestling! Hi-tech gear to make METAL HERO weep and rust like the Tinman! Fight camps to make the Demon Brigade shake in their scrawny boots! An entire DIVISION dedicated to UNDOING all of the CLEAR and OBVIOUS BIAS that those within MaxJ have against everyone who is NOT sucking up to them! The FUTURE-”
Arnold turns and points off to the side.
“The FUTURE is THIS man!”
Sitting on his knees, the Mountain Shijiro Nakama has his massive hands on his thighs, eyes closed in contemplation.
“The FUTURE Is a world where the LAP DOGS of a SPINELESS company owner will NOT be champions! The FUTURE is a world where TRUE HEAVYWEIGHTS adorn the posters, magazines, and billboards for ALL of Japan to find SOLACE in a HERO! The FUTURE is a world where THIS MAN! Where THE MOUNTAIN! Will reign SUPREME as the MaxJ Champion!
“And when we go to the Tiger’s Festival, what SHOULD have happened at the main event of the Attack of the Castle! will come to pass for EVERYONE to see! Two heavyweights...LEGITIMATE HEAVYWEIGHTS...will SQUASH to the pipsqueaks in front of us! You see, there will be NO underhanded tactics from that pencil neck geek ZENKI this time! Oh no, siree! That little cat and mouse game of his will NOT work a second time, even IF the official is as curruptable as the last one! Because if ZENKI tries his silly game of ‘attack the VASTLY superior Nakama before he enters the ring’ again, he will be SQWARSHED! SQWARSHED, I say! By the indomitable Balloon! Because the Fightin’ Budha will NOT stand idly by, as did the MaxJ so-called ‘officials’ and allow some CHILD to blatantly CHEAT the way ZENKI did!
“And don’t EVEN get me STARTED an this Falcon fellow! How much does this guy even weigh? He’s listed as 190, but I swear on Mama Cunningham’s double blue ribbon-winning peach and blackberry cobbler that that number is so GIMMICKED that the man with too many Hs in his name is no more than 150 when soaking wet! And how many Hs does a man REALLY need in his name, anyway?! What is he hiding?!”
Cunningham’s face is fully flushed as he waves his arms about and screams into the camera, his eyes lighting with a rage and fury the levels of which not even Jafar experienced when the Cave of Wonders sank back into the desert without giving up the magic lamp.
“But I tell you what he WON’T be hiding when we get to the 24th, and that is a victory! ZENKI and Falcon, who probably weight COMBINED what HALF of the Team Buddha Mountain weigh, will be CRUSHED in a way that NO ONE has ever experienced before! And when the championship committee sees what my boys do to the leader of the Demon Brigade and some poor FLUNKY who got stuck with them, they will realize that not only does the Mountain deserve another shot at ZENKI, and a FAIR one, to boot! But they ALSO deserve a shot at GRIM and Tokyo Zombie’s tag championships! Because ANYONE who fights under the banner of Xtreme Fighting Systems is a CHAMPION which ANYONE can be proud of!
“And if that happens, if the championship committee removes their heads from the collective asses of the Demon Brigade, you will see a changing of the guard so stark, so powerful, so CRUSHING, that ALL of Japan will turn their tears of shame to JOY at seeing the NEW faces of puroresu!”