Post by Lynx on Oct 28, 2018 15:49:36 GMT -5
Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it?
That's what it is to be a slave.
Roy Batty. Blade Runner
Diary of a Fighter
Sunday Night. 28.10. 2018
If I see myself in a mirror, after all the time that has passed away, I see only a man that is older, bitterer and a bit richer.
In the same moment in which i decided to build my own future and not lean on my rich family. In that same moment, in which I did not accept the same philosophy my family accepted, I became the black sheep of that very family. A reason for sorrow and bitterness for my father, a reason for disillusion and sadness for my mother.
I was one of those sons, dreaming soul teenager, that do not accept advice. One young, rebel, vagabond, a youthful heart that knows everything better.
Now that I see myself in a mirror, I understand the reasons I had for making those choices, years ago. I wanted to prove myself to myself..
Everything I wanted was to live a dream of freedom.
I wanted to become a fighter and never get scared of affronting my shortcomings and my fear for the future. Because once you let fear in your life, in that very moment you become a slave. A slave for eternity.
You live your life. But you do not!!
You are nothing more than a vegetable...
You do the same old things everyday. With the same old fear of losing those few, miserable things, you call your own. Life goes on, day by day, and one day you look in the mirror and see a person you do not recognize ..
… A bald, fat and cynical human being is looking back at you. With a shit eating grin, smiling back at you. You try to stare in the mirror even more focused. You wipe away the sweat falling in your eyes. You stare and stare, trying to see something that is not there...
..You finally understand what has happened...
Life has passed you by and flown away, leaving only a breathing carcass behind.
You threw your life away, while being scared of everything.
And now, now it is too late.
Right before the devastation, you thought you were having a good time. You, disillusioned, understand now that what you called a good time was only a refusal, from your part, to accept the truth...
And all that is left for you is to breathe your final breath, scared and shitty. Just like your whole life has been.
...Well, I refuse.
I refuse to live in fear...
Refuse to be a Slave!!
If I see myself in this mirror, I look at a young man that has no regrets about the decisions he has made. I see a man that has always had the guts to bathe in Glory and who is not afraid of losing this very glory to someone else.
Because if you live your life to the fullest, following your dreams while achieving as many as possible, you will have no fear of losing these very dreams.
You tried.
You got to the top. With respect, bravery and dignity, you made your way to the top. So, even if, for a moment, you lose grip of your dreams and fall, all you can do is to wipe the dust and angst away and stand up to fight another day.
Life is a constant fight.
You need to cherish those few calm moments you have, while preparing for the next fight.
My next fight.
It is a fight for gold and glory...
..A fight to prove something!
One side wants to prove that, even while being a young fighter, it has what is needed to be a great one..
..The other side wants to prove that the best years have yet to fly away and that this fighter got what it takes to stand tall at the top.
I do not underestimate Daichi.
I know he is able to be the Face of this company. Yet, even so, I am at least as good of a fighter as he is, if not a better one. I deserve to be a champion. Spilled blood and threw bitter tears to achieve what I have achieved, and have no intention of letting go so easily.
And Daichi knows this.
He better not forget it..
