Post by Mike Musket on Nov 1, 2018 10:02:07 GMT -5
Mike’s out there on the lot looking at some new camping trailers. Sagara Fusanosuke a/k/a Bootsy Mitchell is out there doing all the wheeling and dealing with the salesfolk while Crazy Dog’s rolling around in the grass with a damn new fancy milk bone. And there stands Mike Musket. By god he’s climbed atop one o’ them campers staring down the way and he can even see Fuji Mountain.
“This camper’s gonna look damn fine atop Fuji Mountain.”
Down from below a throng o’ reporters spies him and they get to hustling around the camper. Mike just stands there looking down on em, like Zeus in a Budweiser commercial.
The tallest one of ‘em starts talking.
“Mike-san, you have won the Tiger’s Festival. Are you the best fighter in MAX-J?”
Mike roars back his head with laughter.
“Listen up Big Slim, I’ll tell it to ya like this: I can out-wrestle an eight-armed sea horse and I got a mean ole crusty lariat that could spank yer pappy like a wet dog and kiss yer mama like a burger and fries.”
Crazy Dog in the grass lifts up his head, hearing either the word dog or burger and fries.
Mike keeps it going.
“But lookee here I’m a-tell it to ya just like this: here’s where me and my good pal Jun Vegas get back on track, yessir. Fellas I just got the ball a-rollin’. I been training with my boys Jun bug and Kusumotor and lemme tell ya, you ain’t never seen the fists a-fly and that headbuttin’ fool gonna fight that fancy acrobat with the cathead biscuit mask.”
Mike puts his hands on his hips.
“But listen here, seems like we got recruited into some kind of militia, this here MAX Defense Force. Well, I ain’t no stranger to a militia even though I’ve always thought of myself more as a one man army. But I guess they needed some good ole boys to stack up against them Demon Brigade fellers. And I’ll say this here, I think that ole Zombie Tokyo’s a man of the cloth and I respect that. And Zenki, well, he’s a little ornery but he’s a good buddy of mine. But listen up now.”
Mike gets serious.
“Ain’t no love lost between me and that GRIM fella. No sir, no sir, no sir! This here tour’s for me about scrapping up with that spitoonin’ sumbitch they call the Dead Man’s King. Well, hell, I’mma make sure he can join his subjects down there in hell! I got so many hooks I’ll strap him down tight like Crazy Larry without the medication!”
Mike calms down but only for a bit.
“So look here, I’mma be fightin’ alongside and rootin’ for my good buddy Jun Vegas. And I’mma be right there at ringside to make sure that them fellers don’t get skippy! And I’ll say this too: if Jun Vegas don’t come home with a gold-plated waistline I’ll be the first one to step up and give Zenki the tussle of his life! But listen here I got a couple opportunities coming up here to get my hands dirty wringin’ out GRIM and his poison mist like laundry day gone wrong. So I guess I’ll say it like this.”
Mike gives em that Big Ole Country grin.
“If he’s bringing the biscuits I’m bringing the bacon! And a cartoon of eggs too! Hell yeah! AROOOOOOOOO!!”
Mike gets a running start and leaps from the roof of one camping trailer to the next. He keeps running off, bounding from camper to camper as Crazy Dog trots after him and the reporters just say by god he’s Osaka bound.
“This camper’s gonna look damn fine atop Fuji Mountain.”
Down from below a throng o’ reporters spies him and they get to hustling around the camper. Mike just stands there looking down on em, like Zeus in a Budweiser commercial.
The tallest one of ‘em starts talking.
“Mike-san, you have won the Tiger’s Festival. Are you the best fighter in MAX-J?”
Mike roars back his head with laughter.
“Listen up Big Slim, I’ll tell it to ya like this: I can out-wrestle an eight-armed sea horse and I got a mean ole crusty lariat that could spank yer pappy like a wet dog and kiss yer mama like a burger and fries.”
Crazy Dog in the grass lifts up his head, hearing either the word dog or burger and fries.
Mike keeps it going.
“But lookee here I’m a-tell it to ya just like this: here’s where me and my good pal Jun Vegas get back on track, yessir. Fellas I just got the ball a-rollin’. I been training with my boys Jun bug and Kusumotor and lemme tell ya, you ain’t never seen the fists a-fly and that headbuttin’ fool gonna fight that fancy acrobat with the cathead biscuit mask.”
Mike puts his hands on his hips.
“But listen here, seems like we got recruited into some kind of militia, this here MAX Defense Force. Well, I ain’t no stranger to a militia even though I’ve always thought of myself more as a one man army. But I guess they needed some good ole boys to stack up against them Demon Brigade fellers. And I’ll say this here, I think that ole Zombie Tokyo’s a man of the cloth and I respect that. And Zenki, well, he’s a little ornery but he’s a good buddy of mine. But listen up now.”
Mike gets serious.
“Ain’t no love lost between me and that GRIM fella. No sir, no sir, no sir! This here tour’s for me about scrapping up with that spitoonin’ sumbitch they call the Dead Man’s King. Well, hell, I’mma make sure he can join his subjects down there in hell! I got so many hooks I’ll strap him down tight like Crazy Larry without the medication!”
Mike calms down but only for a bit.
“So look here, I’mma be fightin’ alongside and rootin’ for my good buddy Jun Vegas. And I’mma be right there at ringside to make sure that them fellers don’t get skippy! And I’ll say this too: if Jun Vegas don’t come home with a gold-plated waistline I’ll be the first one to step up and give Zenki the tussle of his life! But listen here I got a couple opportunities coming up here to get my hands dirty wringin’ out GRIM and his poison mist like laundry day gone wrong. So I guess I’ll say it like this.”
Mike gives em that Big Ole Country grin.
“If he’s bringing the biscuits I’m bringing the bacon! And a cartoon of eggs too! Hell yeah! AROOOOOOOOO!!”
Mike gets a running start and leaps from the roof of one camping trailer to the next. He keeps running off, bounding from camper to camper as Crazy Dog trots after him and the reporters just say by god he’s Osaka bound.