Post by Mike Musket on Nov 20, 2018 18:59:17 GMT -5
Mike, Sagara Fusanosuke a/k/a Bootsy Mitchell, and Crazy Dog are just a-steppin down that ole dusty trail to Tokyo on a moonlit eve when a strange happening occurs. From outta the bushes, there’s a tall fella and he’s skinny and pale like he got lost in a freezer. But he’s wearin fancy clothes and a red cape.
Bootsy and Crazy Dog are startled. But Mike steps up to the plate strong as an Oklahoma bison.
“Well howdy there, sir. What can I do ya for?”
This tall son of a bitch takes a step forward and when he opens his mouth you can see ‘em: he got fangs like daggers jutting out o’ them gums.
“I am the great Count Dracula! And ye townspeople on this unholy eve shall be my unwitting victims to extend my everlasting life!”
Crazy Dog growls as this strange figure approaches while Bootsy cowers behind the defiant Mike Musket.
“Well damn if I didn’t know better I thought I heard you challenge me to a tussle! Now listen here, I’ve locked horns with a lot o’ strange characters in my day. And hell, you remind me a bit of a fella I just put down for getting ornery and messed up in the head. So I’m up to scuffle with ya, buck!”
Bootsy cups his hands around his mouth.
“Don’t let him bite you, Mike-san! Just in case…”
Mike smacks his belly and laughs.
“Don’t be silly there, Bootsy. I’ll take ole Transylvania Slim here and knot him up like a rope that done lost its way! I’ll snap him like a monkey that’s lost its mind! Oh hell yeah, cause I take the crazies out back and give em that Ole Yeller treatment! Except I don’t shed no tears, no sir, cause I’m a man by god!”
Count Dracula lunges at Mike with his fangs a-gleamin and drools flying out the side of his mouth. Crazy Dog and Bootsy scatter while Mike stands firm like the mighty oak and rears back with a meaty fist and punches him in the gut. That dumbass vampirin’ fella grabs his stomach and starts a-coughin up his lunch while Mike stands there with his hands on his hips.
“Well don’t you look more pathetic than a twoheaded stepchild!”
At this, Dracula starts up and tries to surprise Mike.
“I will drink your blood!”
But at just the last minute, Dracula moans out in pain cause Crazy Dog has got him bit by the leg! Ole Drac starts to reach a hand out for Crazy Dog but this sends Big Ole Country into a rage, snatching up Dracula by the collar of his cape and hitting him with a backdrop suplex that plants his head straight through the ground, stuck there upside down with his legs a-twitching!
Mike bends down and pets Crazy Dog.
“Well my friend, you’ve saved me once again. I guess I gotta learn not to take my opponents so lightly, huh?”
Crazy Dog barks happily. Meanwhile Bootsy shows up lookin ashamed.
“Sorry I wasn’t any help, Mike-san…”
Mike laughs and puts an arm around Bootsy.
“You kidding? If you hadn’t a told Crazy Dog not to let him bite me, who knows what would have happened!”
Bootsy gets a confused look.
“I’m not sure Crazy Dog understands English, Mike-san.”
But Big Ole Country once again just laughs and shakes his head.
“Bootsy, you’re dumber than mustard on a cracker. Crazy Dog understands everything! Now I think it’s time we get reacquainted with what you call Kobe beef!”
Mike pats Crazy Dog on his side.
“And we’ll make sure our friend here gets an extra helping!”
Crazy Dog barks with delight as the three friends continue on in their journey to Tokyo.
Just another adventure on the dusty trail…
Bootsy and Crazy Dog are startled. But Mike steps up to the plate strong as an Oklahoma bison.
“Well howdy there, sir. What can I do ya for?”
This tall son of a bitch takes a step forward and when he opens his mouth you can see ‘em: he got fangs like daggers jutting out o’ them gums.
“I am the great Count Dracula! And ye townspeople on this unholy eve shall be my unwitting victims to extend my everlasting life!”
Crazy Dog growls as this strange figure approaches while Bootsy cowers behind the defiant Mike Musket.
“Well damn if I didn’t know better I thought I heard you challenge me to a tussle! Now listen here, I’ve locked horns with a lot o’ strange characters in my day. And hell, you remind me a bit of a fella I just put down for getting ornery and messed up in the head. So I’m up to scuffle with ya, buck!”
Bootsy cups his hands around his mouth.
“Don’t let him bite you, Mike-san! Just in case…”
Mike smacks his belly and laughs.
“Don’t be silly there, Bootsy. I’ll take ole Transylvania Slim here and knot him up like a rope that done lost its way! I’ll snap him like a monkey that’s lost its mind! Oh hell yeah, cause I take the crazies out back and give em that Ole Yeller treatment! Except I don’t shed no tears, no sir, cause I’m a man by god!”
Count Dracula lunges at Mike with his fangs a-gleamin and drools flying out the side of his mouth. Crazy Dog and Bootsy scatter while Mike stands firm like the mighty oak and rears back with a meaty fist and punches him in the gut. That dumbass vampirin’ fella grabs his stomach and starts a-coughin up his lunch while Mike stands there with his hands on his hips.
“Well don’t you look more pathetic than a twoheaded stepchild!”
At this, Dracula starts up and tries to surprise Mike.
“I will drink your blood!”
But at just the last minute, Dracula moans out in pain cause Crazy Dog has got him bit by the leg! Ole Drac starts to reach a hand out for Crazy Dog but this sends Big Ole Country into a rage, snatching up Dracula by the collar of his cape and hitting him with a backdrop suplex that plants his head straight through the ground, stuck there upside down with his legs a-twitching!
Mike bends down and pets Crazy Dog.
“Well my friend, you’ve saved me once again. I guess I gotta learn not to take my opponents so lightly, huh?”
Crazy Dog barks happily. Meanwhile Bootsy shows up lookin ashamed.
“Sorry I wasn’t any help, Mike-san…”
Mike laughs and puts an arm around Bootsy.
“You kidding? If you hadn’t a told Crazy Dog not to let him bite me, who knows what would have happened!”
Bootsy gets a confused look.
“I’m not sure Crazy Dog understands English, Mike-san.”
But Big Ole Country once again just laughs and shakes his head.
“Bootsy, you’re dumber than mustard on a cracker. Crazy Dog understands everything! Now I think it’s time we get reacquainted with what you call Kobe beef!”
Mike pats Crazy Dog on his side.
“And we’ll make sure our friend here gets an extra helping!”
Crazy Dog barks with delight as the three friends continue on in their journey to Tokyo.
Just another adventure on the dusty trail…