Napapagod...

January 30, 2019
Baltimore, Maryland
6:37 am

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The morning sun rose to the sky, and Chris and his gang parked their motorhome in the middle of the woods. Chris was sitting on the stump feeling miserable. However, the mood wasn’t because of the training that made him feel like it, nor it was Lolo Tasyo, but there were so many things haunting his mind. Paco approached him after he noticed his melancholic face.

“Kuya, tinatawag ka ni Lolo Tasyo. Bakit hindi ka kumikibo?” (Brother, Lolo Tasyo just called you. Why didn’t you respond?)

Chris still gave his little brother an answer.

“Kuya!”

Chris finally noticed his little brother calling at him. He was busy from thinking all the challenges he was facing.

“Paco, pasensya na.” (Sorry, Paco). Chris replied. “Papunta na ako diyan.” (I’ll be with Lolo Tasyo in a minute.)

Paco was not satisfied from his older brother’s answer. “Bakit ka nalulungkot kuya? Ano ba iniisip mo?” (Why are so sad, brother? What have you thinking?)

“Sige na Paco, papunta na ako.” (Don’t worry Paco, I’m coming over there.) Chris attempted to dodge the question.

“Kuya!”

Chris sighed at his brother. He didn’t want to share it. He finally submitted to Paco’s request. Chris looked aimlessly at the snowy fields.

“Di ko alam kung ano ang nangyayari sa akin. Maraming kumakalaban ang mga taga-Salem sa akin. Natapon ako palabas. Natatalo na ako sa laban linggo-linggo. Nakakawatak ang pag-aasawa naming ni Sakuya.” (I didn’t know what just happened to me. Many people in Salem were against me. They put me into exile. I lost a match every week. Our marriage with Sakuya has started to fall apart.) Chris shared some of the thoughts he had that kept bothering him.

“Ngayon, humiwalay kami ni Serena ng landas.” (Now, Serena and I went on separate ways…) Chris added emphasizing another problem weighed his mind. “Sa oras pa na kinakailangan ko siya.” (…in these times I need her.)

Chris had all things inside in his head. His carelessness made Salem subjected to reproach leading to his match against Nikki Vaughn. He lost his bout because of the interference by Draven X. Because of that, Salem put Chris into exile forcing him to sell his residence and live on the road. The chain didn’t stop there for his loss led his credibility as a husband in question. On January 26, 2019, Chris and Serena went to Japan signing with a Japanese promotion. On the same day, Sakuya’s brother stated that her family couldn’t take the contempt they received through him. They demanded the marriage between him and Sakuya should cease. He fell Chris’ morale apart like the world is against him.

Now the time has come where Serena left him. She went to a wrestling promotion which forced them to go on separate ways. It was sad for him, for she was like a second mother to him. These circumstances left him in despair. He saw himself an empty shell of a person.

“Napapagod na ako, Paco.” (I'm tired, Paco.) Chris said then he went on his way.

“Uy, kuya! Saan ka pupunta? Andito si Lolo Tasyo!” (Brother! Where are you going? Lolo Tasyo was this way.) His little brother pointed his finger at the trailer while Chris went in the wrong direction.

Chris answered. “Gusto ko magpag-isa.” (I want to be alone.)


February 1, 2019
10:35 pm




Chris played his rendition of the song above with his acoustic guitar while sang the lyrics on his mind. It was one of his way to cope with his depressed mind. He wasn't allowed to drink alcohol, but because of his problems in his head, he had to buy a whiskey and put it on the table beside him along with the wine glass.

He was alone in the cold night. Nevertheless, he kept playing hoping for all his problems to fade away when if it takes to kill himself. Every time he plucked a wrong string, he drank a shot of whiskey lowering his frustrations. Unbeknownst to him, the more drops of liquor he poured into his mouth, the more mistakes he made from his playing.

“Hindi ba’t ipinababawalan kang uminom ng alak?” (Didn’t Lolo Tasyo forbade you to drink that?) Someone asked him behind his back.

Chris turned around, “Isidra?”

Isidra on her winter clothes sat on the ground beside him. “Andito ka nga pala, hindi ka pumasok sa loob ng motorhome, mainit diyan kaysa dito.” (So you are here, why can’t you go inside the motorhome? It’s warmer than here.)

Chris didn’t respond wishing that she would go away. Isidra requested him for a shot of liquor, and he gave her a glass filled with a little whiskey. Minutes of Chris playing the guitar and Isidra humming the song, she started to discuss, “Nalaman ko nga pala mula kay tatay na isa kang dugong pinoy.” (I have found out from my father that you’re a pure Filipino.)

There's still no comment from Chris. “Ipinanganak ka ng iyong ama at ina na may dugong Pilipino. Tapos namatay ang iyong ama sa digmaang Moro sa Mindanao, limang buwan pagkatapos ka isinilang.” (You are born from your father and mother with pure Filipino blood. Sadly, your father died from the Moro Wars in Mindanao, five months after your birth.)

“At ano ang punto mo?” (And your point?)

Isidra smiled at him, “Kaya mo tinugtog iyong kanta na iyon, hindi ba?” (That’s why you played that song, right?)

“Iyan lang ba?” (Is that all?)

“Iyan nga na ba?” (Is it?)

Chris shook his head and stopped playing his guitar. He placed it on the snowy ground. “Pagkamatay ng tatay, lumaki kami sa hirap. Iyan ang sinabi ni inay sa akin. Sabi ng iba, ibinenta sana ako sa mayayamang pamilya bilang alipin kung hindi sa mahal ng aking inay. Hindi nagtagal, nagpangasawa niya ang isang Amerikano. Dahil sa kanya, nagkatapos ako hanggang sa paaralang sekundarya. Pinasayahan niya ako na mag-aral sa Amerika sa kursong Arkitekto. Akala namin na walang hanggang ang pag-ibig ng tatay, pero nalaman naming sa huli na ito’y huwad. Iniwan kami ng banyaga kong itay, at ako ang humalili bilang tagahanap-buhay sa aming dalawa ni inay.” (When my father died, my mother and I grew into poverty. That’s what she said. Some stated that if she didn't love me so much, I would’ve sold into a rich family as a servant. Not for long, she married an American. Because of him, I finished up to high school. He decided for me to study in America pursuing architecture. We thought that his love would last forever, but it wasn’t. He left us leaving me as a breadwinner for the two of us.)

He told everything from the start of his wrestling career up to his marriage with his Japanese wife, Sakuya. The rest was history, and he ended up saying, “Hindi ko alam na ang lahat na ito, bumalik sa akin para singilin ako. Nakakapagod.” (I didn’t know that it was going to charge for debt. It was very tiresome.)

Isidra sympathized the hardships of his life. She also applauded that he surpassed them. She commented, “Tanging isang tunay na Pilipino ang gumagawa mo niyan. Tandaan mo niyan.” (Only a true Filipino can do that. Remember that.)

Chris nodded, and somehow it made him brought a weak smile on his face. He guessed that he has something he can proud of.