Pyramid Grappling League

A short man with light brown hair wearing large glasses and what might well be the loudest suit jacket in the long history of clothing waves a black-covered racket in his hand, the word “XPRESS” written into the leather.

“Ladies and Gentlemen of Max-J, my name is Arnold Cunningham and I am here on behalf of Xpress Fighting Systems, the world’s PREMIER fight camp for ALL types of combat sports. And I am here to present you with a moment in which you will NEVER forget. Because THIS moment is when you lay eyes for the very first time on the man who will CRUSH the competition the same way he has CRUSHED every fighter who has ever been put in his path. You see, the Mountain Shinjiro is not like any mortal man. Oh no, no no! The Mountain Shinjiro defies all logic and rules of science. He stands TALLER than any other. He is STRONGER than any other! He is FASTER than any other!

“The Mountain has DOMINATED those who thought they could trade strikes and have FALLEN and CRUMBLED under the POWER of his kicks and knees! And now he looks to do the same with grappling and wrestling, and there is NO better place or time than NOW! Sano and Murakami are going to REGRET setting up the Pyramid Grappling League because they are going to see two of their BEST in Mike Musket and Matt Pulver be EMBARRASSED by the Mountain as they are tossed around as if they were dolls!

“The Mountain is going to take both Musket and Pulver and BEST them at their OWN games! He is going to grab Musket and drive him to the ground with a variety of VICIOUS suplexes! He is going to lay all of his GREAT weight down on Pulver and POUND him into the ground! He is going to-”


The camera shakes as heavy footsteps are heard. The camera has to move up and up until a large man can be seen in full, a man so thick as to seem to be as wide as too Cunninghams and seemingly even taller. Almond-shaped eyes and dark colors mark the man as Japanese, but the head full of naturally bright blonde hair belie an unquestioned mixed heritage. He folds his arms before his wide chest and looks down into the camera.

“Musket. Pulver. You are both pretty.”

His words, spoken from a deep voice which sounds as if he gargled rocks every day, are short and crisp, almost cut off.

“I will make you...not...pretty.”

Cunningham breaks out into crazed laughter as Shinjiro looks into the camera. He slaps his shoulder with his racket.

“The time for playing GAMES is OVER, Max-J! Xpress Fighting Systems has brought our ace in Shinjiro! I would tell you to be prepared, but there is NO preparation you can do to stop the AVALANCHE that is coming your way!”