Post by xpressfighting on May 28, 2019 14:41:54 GMT -5
***THE FOLLOWING IS AN XPRESS FIGHTING SYSTEMS PROMOTIONAL VIDEO***
Arnold Cunningham stands before the Xpress Fighting Systems banner in a suit the color of strained peaches (+1 #CoolPoint if you catch the reference) and lined with golden trim and tassels on the shoulders. In his hands is a large picture book with a cartoon of a golden Shinjiro Nakama on the cover.
“Its story time, children!”
The Voice of XFS lowers himself down onto a stool and adopts what might be the fakest smile in the history of fake smiles as the camera widens out to show a dozen children, all with close cropped black hair, who look up at him.
“There once was a MOOOOUNNNNTAIN-”
The sudden scream of MOUNTAIN, while not unexpected by you dear readers, catches the children by surprise.
“-who stood TALL and RESOLUTE above Japan. He was STRONG! He was RESILIENT! And in his stoicism, the world found SOLACE!”
He opens the book to show a mountain, the color of gold glinting in the sunlight, with features in the rock which made out the broad nose and sleepy eyes of Nakama, as well as a grove of bright white cherry blossoms taking the place of his infamously natural platinum blonde hair.
“But he say BAD things happening down below him. He saw TERRIBLE things. He saw RATS, and RACCOONS, and all SORTS of unsorted VERMIN infecting the land and turning what he LOVED into nothing but a disease-ridden ROT of desiccated MARSH!”
He turns the page as most of the kids look at one another in confusion, the use of $5 words a bit much for them. But, the beautifully drawn picture of the white-capped mounting shedding a tear over a scene of men, each more diseased and disgusting than the last, running through the fields of flowers and rice, spreading ruin and decay with every step.
“But his LOVE for the world, his LOVE for ALL of Puro, was too much for him to stand by! No! He cast himself down, he BROUGHT HIMSELF DOWN, to the world so that he could save it! So that he could CURE the world of the SICKNESS which was infecting it! The MOOUUUNNNNTAIN gave himself the flesh of GOLD!”
The next page shows a human-sized Nakama, still standing head and shoulders above the rest, but with skin the color of gold, with his bright white hair flowing in the wind.
“The people CHEERED his arrival!”
Indeed, the people cheered.
“And the VILLAINS ran from him, their tails WAGGING between their legs!”
Indeed, the men causing all the disease and blight ran from the golden man, each sprouting a tail to show their fear in their retreat.
“But! Oh children, BUT! The Mountain-turned-man was not satisfied with the WRETCHED FILTH simply running! Oh no! His lust for JUSTICE was not fulfilled with merely fulfilled by defeating them soundly and being heralded as THE champion of the Royal Road! No! He wanted MORE!”
The next page shows the golden Nakama stomping on various fleeing rodents, with many in his wake.
“He wished to PROVE to ALL of puro that HE is the way! That HE is the Light! That HE is ALL that is golden! First! The TRUE winner of the J1 Summit! Then! The Royal Road! Then! The Tag Team! Then! The World! He is ALL that is Gold! He is ALL that is UNDISPUTED! And along the way he found FRIENDS who would SHARE in his wisdom and strength!”
A page turn finds the golden Nakama being worshipped, with knees and foreheads to the ground, by Ishii, Balloon Yamazaki, Frank Dylan James, and more. On the following page, another man with bright white hair, though without the golden skin, stands next to Nakama, dwarfed by the Mountain’s great height, but standing tall and sure.
“Before the MOUNTAIN defeats the FALSE champion, before he takes EVERY piece of gold the world has to offer, he must take THIS gold! With a NEW partner at his side, the MOUNTAIN is prepared to defeat ALL teams before him! With this NEW partner here, there is only ONE winner POSSIBLE as teams COLLIDE in a tournament! For there is only ONE golden GOD of puro! The Ace! The Cure! The Beauty! THE MOUNTAIN!”
He turns to the final page where we see the golden Nakama with a title belt around his waist and two more draping his arms.
The children sit quietly.
And then begin to applaud.
And weep.
Arnold Cunningham stands before the Xpress Fighting Systems banner in a suit the color of strained peaches (+1 #CoolPoint if you catch the reference) and lined with golden trim and tassels on the shoulders. In his hands is a large picture book with a cartoon of a golden Shinjiro Nakama on the cover.
“Its story time, children!”
The Voice of XFS lowers himself down onto a stool and adopts what might be the fakest smile in the history of fake smiles as the camera widens out to show a dozen children, all with close cropped black hair, who look up at him.
“There once was a MOOOOUNNNNTAIN-”
The sudden scream of MOUNTAIN, while not unexpected by you dear readers, catches the children by surprise.
“-who stood TALL and RESOLUTE above Japan. He was STRONG! He was RESILIENT! And in his stoicism, the world found SOLACE!”
He opens the book to show a mountain, the color of gold glinting in the sunlight, with features in the rock which made out the broad nose and sleepy eyes of Nakama, as well as a grove of bright white cherry blossoms taking the place of his infamously natural platinum blonde hair.
“But he say BAD things happening down below him. He saw TERRIBLE things. He saw RATS, and RACCOONS, and all SORTS of unsorted VERMIN infecting the land and turning what he LOVED into nothing but a disease-ridden ROT of desiccated MARSH!”
He turns the page as most of the kids look at one another in confusion, the use of $5 words a bit much for them. But, the beautifully drawn picture of the white-capped mounting shedding a tear over a scene of men, each more diseased and disgusting than the last, running through the fields of flowers and rice, spreading ruin and decay with every step.
“But his LOVE for the world, his LOVE for ALL of Puro, was too much for him to stand by! No! He cast himself down, he BROUGHT HIMSELF DOWN, to the world so that he could save it! So that he could CURE the world of the SICKNESS which was infecting it! The MOOUUUNNNNTAIN gave himself the flesh of GOLD!”
The next page shows a human-sized Nakama, still standing head and shoulders above the rest, but with skin the color of gold, with his bright white hair flowing in the wind.
“The people CHEERED his arrival!”
Indeed, the people cheered.
“And the VILLAINS ran from him, their tails WAGGING between their legs!”
Indeed, the men causing all the disease and blight ran from the golden man, each sprouting a tail to show their fear in their retreat.
“But! Oh children, BUT! The Mountain-turned-man was not satisfied with the WRETCHED FILTH simply running! Oh no! His lust for JUSTICE was not fulfilled with merely fulfilled by defeating them soundly and being heralded as THE champion of the Royal Road! No! He wanted MORE!”
The next page shows the golden Nakama stomping on various fleeing rodents, with many in his wake.
“He wished to PROVE to ALL of puro that HE is the way! That HE is the Light! That HE is ALL that is golden! First! The TRUE winner of the J1 Summit! Then! The Royal Road! Then! The Tag Team! Then! The World! He is ALL that is Gold! He is ALL that is UNDISPUTED! And along the way he found FRIENDS who would SHARE in his wisdom and strength!”
A page turn finds the golden Nakama being worshipped, with knees and foreheads to the ground, by Ishii, Balloon Yamazaki, Frank Dylan James, and more. On the following page, another man with bright white hair, though without the golden skin, stands next to Nakama, dwarfed by the Mountain’s great height, but standing tall and sure.
“Before the MOUNTAIN defeats the FALSE champion, before he takes EVERY piece of gold the world has to offer, he must take THIS gold! With a NEW partner at his side, the MOUNTAIN is prepared to defeat ALL teams before him! With this NEW partner here, there is only ONE winner POSSIBLE as teams COLLIDE in a tournament! For there is only ONE golden GOD of puro! The Ace! The Cure! The Beauty! THE MOUNTAIN!”
He turns to the final page where we see the golden Nakama with a title belt around his waist and two more draping his arms.
The children sit quietly.
And then begin to applaud.
And weep.