Post by xpressfighting on Jul 24, 2018 18:52:17 GMT -5
***THE FOLLOWING IS AN XPRESS FIGHTING SYSTEMS PROMOTIONAL VIDEO***
The short man wearing large glasses and a garishly loud pink jacket waves his black-covered racket in his hand, the word “XPRESS” written into the leather with white paint and the hint of a matching pink glitter, as well as a stack of papers in his other hand.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Arnold Cunningham and I am here on behalf of Xpress Fighting Systems, the world’s PREMIER fight camp for ALL types of combat sports. But more importantly, I am here for my MAIN client, a man ROBBED of VICTORY a mere few weeks ago, a man who had a trophy RIPPED from his grasp by those who would steal honor from themselves and give it to little mice! I am here on behalf of ‘The Mountain’ Shinjiro. And in my hand-”
He waves the papers violently, shaking them, causing a loud rustle.
“-I have the so-called ‘report’ from Max-J about the ‘investigation’ done into the CLEAR and ABUNDANT bribery of a CERTAIN judge which led to my client, ‘The Mountain’ Shinjrio, losing the Pyramid Cup. And THIS, all of you fine ladies and gentlemen, is what I, my client, and ALL of Xpress Fighting Systems thinks of this ‘report.’”
With exaggerated motions, the little man with the brown hair holds up the papers for all to see, turns his body sideways, and drags the papers across the bottom of his lime green slacks.
“I wipe myself with them, Max-J and Mister Sano. I wipe myself with them!”
He tosses them to the floor, brown eyes magnified by the glasses hot with hate, his skin turning pink as he goes on.
“And THAT, all you good people out there, is EXACTLY what my client is going to do to EVERYONE who is UNFORTUNATE enough to be in his block of the J1 Summit! Not only is ‘The Mountain’ Shinjiro going to slam, kick, choke, and suplex his way through the competition, he is going to make them look, feel, and even SMELL like yesterday’s garbage! Why, from the MOMENT that my client DEMOLISHED every official in that ring after the TRAVESTY of justice in Fuju Hall, Shinjiro has been preparing!”
Cunningham slams the racket into his palm as he counts off the preparation.
“He has been running! He has been kicking! He has been swimming! He has been eating! And believe you me, he has been helping himself to some of the more untoward ladies all across these great islands, so his cardio is WAY up!
“Believe you me, he is already READY for the poor, unfortunate souls who must deal with his wraith in just a few days! Why, when Shinjiro gets a hand on those poor schlebs who have found themselves in the B Block of the tournament will be in so much PAIN, will be in so much AGONY, that they will curse the day their mothers had ever laid eyes on their fathers!
“I look across the field and I see GRIM, who, as my sources assure me, Lord Zenki only keeps around because he likes to laugh when he pukes on himself after three glasses of cheap imported sake! Edwards, the man known all across this business for spending more time crying about what he WISHED he could have been then actually BEING anything. Daniels, who spends all HIS time trying to parlay the floozy on his arm to get people to wrestle in Seattle because he can’t wrestle himself anymore! Only decent one of the bunch is Zombie, but the little man will be crushed by the Mountain like everyone else. Why-”
Cunningham cuts off as loud footsteps are heard, the thunderous drops of boots which bring to mind the horrors and beasts of Cooper and Crichton. The Mountain himself, Shinjiro, walks into frame, his large body slick with sweat, his shockingly bright white hair hard against his head. He stands with his arms folded at Cunningham’s side, seemingly twice the man’s height and three times his width.
“Pulver.”
His voice is harsh, the words sounding as if he gargled rocks every morning in lieu of salt.
“Last time...I make your face...not pretty. Next time...”
He points down to his right knee as he lifts it up, the black pad across his giant leg showing a surprisingly good likeness to the Swede.
“...I...break...it.”
He again folds his arms as Cunningham slaps his giant shoulder and cackles for all he is worth.
The short man wearing large glasses and a garishly loud pink jacket waves his black-covered racket in his hand, the word “XPRESS” written into the leather with white paint and the hint of a matching pink glitter, as well as a stack of papers in his other hand.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Arnold Cunningham and I am here on behalf of Xpress Fighting Systems, the world’s PREMIER fight camp for ALL types of combat sports. But more importantly, I am here for my MAIN client, a man ROBBED of VICTORY a mere few weeks ago, a man who had a trophy RIPPED from his grasp by those who would steal honor from themselves and give it to little mice! I am here on behalf of ‘The Mountain’ Shinjiro. And in my hand-”
He waves the papers violently, shaking them, causing a loud rustle.
“-I have the so-called ‘report’ from Max-J about the ‘investigation’ done into the CLEAR and ABUNDANT bribery of a CERTAIN judge which led to my client, ‘The Mountain’ Shinjrio, losing the Pyramid Cup. And THIS, all of you fine ladies and gentlemen, is what I, my client, and ALL of Xpress Fighting Systems thinks of this ‘report.’”
With exaggerated motions, the little man with the brown hair holds up the papers for all to see, turns his body sideways, and drags the papers across the bottom of his lime green slacks.
“I wipe myself with them, Max-J and Mister Sano. I wipe myself with them!”
He tosses them to the floor, brown eyes magnified by the glasses hot with hate, his skin turning pink as he goes on.
“And THAT, all you good people out there, is EXACTLY what my client is going to do to EVERYONE who is UNFORTUNATE enough to be in his block of the J1 Summit! Not only is ‘The Mountain’ Shinjiro going to slam, kick, choke, and suplex his way through the competition, he is going to make them look, feel, and even SMELL like yesterday’s garbage! Why, from the MOMENT that my client DEMOLISHED every official in that ring after the TRAVESTY of justice in Fuju Hall, Shinjiro has been preparing!”
Cunningham slams the racket into his palm as he counts off the preparation.
“He has been running! He has been kicking! He has been swimming! He has been eating! And believe you me, he has been helping himself to some of the more untoward ladies all across these great islands, so his cardio is WAY up!
“Believe you me, he is already READY for the poor, unfortunate souls who must deal with his wraith in just a few days! Why, when Shinjiro gets a hand on those poor schlebs who have found themselves in the B Block of the tournament will be in so much PAIN, will be in so much AGONY, that they will curse the day their mothers had ever laid eyes on their fathers!
“I look across the field and I see GRIM, who, as my sources assure me, Lord Zenki only keeps around because he likes to laugh when he pukes on himself after three glasses of cheap imported sake! Edwards, the man known all across this business for spending more time crying about what he WISHED he could have been then actually BEING anything. Daniels, who spends all HIS time trying to parlay the floozy on his arm to get people to wrestle in Seattle because he can’t wrestle himself anymore! Only decent one of the bunch is Zombie, but the little man will be crushed by the Mountain like everyone else. Why-”
Cunningham cuts off as loud footsteps are heard, the thunderous drops of boots which bring to mind the horrors and beasts of Cooper and Crichton. The Mountain himself, Shinjiro, walks into frame, his large body slick with sweat, his shockingly bright white hair hard against his head. He stands with his arms folded at Cunningham’s side, seemingly twice the man’s height and three times his width.
“Pulver.”
His voice is harsh, the words sounding as if he gargled rocks every morning in lieu of salt.
“Last time...I make your face...not pretty. Next time...”
He points down to his right knee as he lifts it up, the black pad across his giant leg showing a surprisingly good likeness to the Swede.
“...I...break...it.”
He again folds his arms as Cunningham slaps his giant shoulder and cackles for all he is worth.